There are no words

No way to understand
to explain to anyone
to describe the experience

You see him with his gun, in his uniform. You all think he's a brave and strong soldier.

But to me, he is my sweet little boy.
The son i birthed,
The son I nursed until he crawled off my lap.
My first born, who taught me how to be a mommy
The little boy i read to and played games with.
The nervous child i taught to relax in his bed at night, to help him fall asleep.

That's my boy up there. I know him better than any of you.
None of you can take that away from me

But reality hits me hard.
He is not mine anymore.
G-d gave him to me, 21 years ago.
He will always be my little boy, but he is in G-d's hands now.

I cannot and will not be able to know what he is doing
I cannot and will not be able to connect to him in his life, knowing where he is

He has made a choice. To protect and defend my life.

As I watch him with the Israeli boys - MEN - Soldiers, I find...

there are no words...