Life's Journey

This is my blog

And therefore I get to write whatever is on my mind.

I write here because it makes me feel better. As I have written a hundred times before, I can connect with my friends and family (and any other lurker who wants to read) in an intimate way, which I enjoy.

But recently I have learned that my writing has worried a few readers, so, because I can, I'm going to write about it...

I am a serious and intense person. As long as I can remember I have always been this way.

But I have also been called a free spirit. Somehow the two have gone together.

I guess I used to be a lot more easy going and fun-loving, but life and its responsibilities has toned me down, and, maybe to my mental health detriment, I have become very intense.

I don’t think I am depressed. I’m bummed about my weight and how my body looks, and I worry about my kids and my family and friends, but I wouldn’t call me depressed. I’ve been depressed before. This is not depression. My anxiety about life is intense, but not debilitating.

People have told me for years to stop thinking so much. I have been in groups were everyone’s feedback to me was to let go of my need for perfection. I worry about almost everything and everyone. I know this about myself, which is the first step.

On the other hand, I have also, over the last few years, learned how to LET GO. Give myself over to my Higher Power, as it were. It’s still a daily battle, but my training as an Expressive Therapist taught me to “Trust in the Process.”

I work constantly on believing internally and accepting that mantra. It is my need for control. It is my need to keep hold of my environment. It is my need to have meaning in everything that I do.

That is who I am.

Yes, it can be hard to live with. My free-spiritedness is what brought Ari and I together. We are a great team. We balance each other. But I am also way more intense than he.

G-d created me as a deep thinker and with a soul that feels life even deeper. I am thankful for that, for I believe it is a gift not many people possess.

I continue to learn how to use it properly.

Thank you for worrying about me (you know who you are). I love knowing there are those who do.

This is part of my life journey: To learn how to live life to the fullest, and with meaning, without stifling myself and my creativity along the way.

What is your life’s journey?!