Distracted

Hi there.
I've been away awhile, I know.
Been distracted by Facebook. Not as therapeutic as blogging, but fun to be in touch with people...
Anyhow. I miss writing and this morning I'm in the mood to write.

Ari bought me a pedometer on his last trip and so far I have used it 4 days. It motivates me to see how many steps I can take. I broke 10,000 yesterday. I think that's how many steps one is supposed to take a day to be healthy. Is that true? I like walking. I actually love it. Especially when I have really good music to listen to. It’s like dancing for me - but not.
I miss dancing. I wanna be a dancer. Like the song in Chorus Line, "I'm a dancer and a dancer dances..."

I've been loosing weight - or so people tell me. I don’t know whether it's because I have been walking (and dancing once a week - which I can’t imagine makes a difference) or because I can barely eat these days. It's a vicious cycle: I can't eat in the morning. Stomach hurts too much. And then by the afternoon I am starving and only sometimes eat the right things. I eat until late and then it starts all over again...
Can't seem to figure out what works. And I'm tired of trying right now.

Ari is leaving again - for two weeks this time. Not sure how I feel about it. Actually, I HATE IT! But I can't be sad or complain because it doesn’t help him or me. So I just try not to feel at all - or at least I tell myself that. ‘Cuz I really am sad and really want to complain! I'm glad, at least, I love him enough that I don’t want to be without him – that, or I am so needy I can’t be alone...

Not working so much these days. Not missing it either. I want to do more creative stuff. I have a couple projects I want to do but am totally procrastinating. I need to make time for the creative stuff, but don't really know how to let myself. There's that "self-indulgent" message I give myself... shame.

We have a new gardener. He told me that one of the herbs growing in the garden are good for stomach problems. So I am sipping hot water with the herbs brewing inside. Wish I could tell you what it's called????

Ari and I are going to do some shopping today, I hope, before he leaves. We need a copier/fax/printer/scanner and I want to pick out the tiles for my backsplash.
Sounds like fun?
Sorta...

I'm done. Check in again later - hopefully sooner than later!

Love