Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Something about pain

When I walked out of a therapy session today, I thought of exactly what I wanted and needed to write about on my blog and what I would title it.

And then I got home.

Became Mommy, and forgot.

I know it was something about pain. Emotional pain. and mental pain. and psychological pain.

I have discovered that I can feel these pains. And although I don't always enjoy them, I don't mind feeling them. The deep intense feelings help me to feel human. To feel real.

I feel feelings. Painful feelings - I feel them.
And I am still alive to talk about it.

So many people do not.
So many people try to kill themselves over these emotions.
They deny them. They tell themselves that they should not.
They tell themselves to look on the bright side, get a grip, have perspective.
They tell themselves to think positive. Focus on the good. Let it go. Without giving enough time or space to the painful emotions to be felt.

They drink them away. They eat them away. They cut them away. They lie them away. They purge them away. They sex them away. They hide them away. They ignore them away.

So many ways. So much effort not to feel them.

If I could just teach people to feel them. Allow themselves to feel them.
Not to wallow. Not to climb into bed for days and cry to feel them.

But to give room for them. Draw them. Acknowledge them.

They can't just be pushed away for good. They need to be made room to be there.

Like a friend that's there for a reason. Not a bad friend. Just a friend who's there. Hangin' around. Saying 'hey, I'm here to let you know you are human.'

I can't keep others from being overwhelmed by their painful emotions. So I want to just take the feelings away from them altogether.
Everyone has their feelings. And I find my inability to help others to live with their pain very sad. Frustrating.

Society does not appreciate painful emotions. Does not know how to deal with them. Does not know how to live with intensely deep feeling people.

We sing, 'Don't worry, be happy.'

What if I could worry AND be happy?!

It's how I'm feeling today.
Tomorrow is another day...

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