Never assume you know what you are looking at!

This picture has you fooled, I am sure of it.

You might say, “It’s so sweet!”

Or think, “Look how comfortable you both look.”

Or, “You’re both so relaxed.”

You might feel the love between us.

You might be in awe of the sweetness between grandmother and grandson

And all would be true.

But, once again, you don’t know the story behind the picture.

This picture was taken last Thursday, December 6th, at around 3:00 pm in the afternoon. 

I had finally gotten Shachar to fall asleep on my shoulder while I was standing up and holding him. I laid down in my bed and we both slept there for 2 hours.

Again, you might be thinking, “That is so sweet…”

But, remember, there’s always more story behind a picture. 

The story is that the night before, I mistakenly and without second thought, gave my grandson a minuscule piece of macadamia nut. 

For those who don’t know, my grandson, Shachar, is THAT kid who is allergic to peanuts (and dairy, and sesame, and eggs!) His mother asked me if I had given him a macadamia nut before, and I thought I had.

Not more than 1 minute later, the poor little guy was drooling, lips swelling and breaking out in a rash. His parents very quickly gave him Benedryl. But it did not seem to do the job. They took him to our local Urgent Care facility, where they gave him steroids, and then an epipen, as the symptoms were not getting better. At that point protocol dictated that he be sent to the hospital.

Ari and I met them at Urgent Care around 11:00 pm, as they were getting into the ambulance. Ari followed in our children’s car, and I drove home in our car to quickly gather phone chargers, toys for Shachar, some allergy free snacks, and hospital admission forms, in case Nechama went into labor.

When I arrived at the hospital, Shachar was in the children’s emergency room, being monitored, where they would keep him all night. They were no longer concerned that the symptoms would get worse, as it seemed the epipen did the job, but they wanted to keep him for observation. Ari and I left Shachar and his parents at the hospital around 12:30 am, to return home.

I was drained. I felt horribly guilty. I was questioning my memory. I was second guessing myself. I was so unsure as to whether I had given him a macadamia nut before or not? If I would have been more conscientious, everyone would be home in their warm snuggly beds. I felt guilty for making my daughter and son-in-law have to (try to) sleep in a hospital all night. I felt responsible. I kept thinking about the trauma I had caused him. And his parents. And there was nothing more I could do.

They returned home the next day, after receiving the OK from the doctor to be discharged. I sent Shachar’s parents to sleep, and then fed, played with and basically followed Shachar around the rest of the day. Until the moment when we both needed a nap. He was so tired, but he was not cooperating to lay down without me.

So I left everything I was doing and took him to my room. I held him, sang to him and spoke quietly in my dark room, until he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder. 

It was heaven. I couldn’t decide if I was feeling guilt or gratitude. Or both. I just wanted to make the whole scary night go away!

It was sweet.

It was loving.

It was comfortable.

It was very relaxing.

But it was also for a very scary reason!

And for a mistake that I plan not to repeat!

So, bottom line, when you look at this picture, and any others that I post:

Really, just don’t ever assume you know the full story….