My Grumpy Day

I felt like a grump all day.

Nothing went my way - or at least it felt that way.

First, I struggled with NED to stay home and not go to the mall with her friends (whom I knew they wouldn't end up going anyhow - they never do what they plan...) Today was the only day I was going to be able to dedicate to helping her write her Dvar Torah/speech for her Bat Mitzvah. She didn't have school today because they were up late last night for the culmination of Chodesh Irgun (a month long crazy marathon for Bnei Akiva).

Trying to reason with NED is like...I can't even think of a metaphor. She's just such a simple, literal child. You can't exagerrate when you speak to her, you can't use metaphors. You have to say exactly what you mean and then usually have to explain that in simple terms. It's exhausting!

When I finally got her to calm down and get started in writing, the first thing she could think of when I asked her what was the one thing she remembers most from the speeches her friends have given, she said, "The thank-yous". So that's where we started.

I don't want this to be my speech. I need her to own this. I need for her to know and understand whatever she's going to say, even in it's simplicity. We finished the speech. It needs a little tweeking, and she'll have to read it over a couple times to understand for herself what she wants to say. But it is very short and to the point.

But ooohh! Was it like pulling teeth! When she looks at me with a blank stare...
Most of the time she'll admit, "I didn't understand what you just said." Boy! What a trial on my patience!

Then I went to pick up ELY and friends for playgroup, but only ELY was at gan today. Had to go to another gan to pick up another kid. So it was only the two kids (instead of four) today. One of the kids came over later - and the dynamic between these kids is not so great. So then I had to break up petty little stupid, "He's copying me." "He's not sharing" "She's not letting me sit there."
I had no patience for that!

Then ELY couldn't find her new ballet shoes Ari brought back from the states. At that point I completely lost it on an almost 5 year old about how irresponsible she is! I was a goner!

Made the huge mistake of taking NED clothes shopping in Kiryat Sefer (a very religious neighborhood up the road) after dropping ELY off at ballet (with shoes too small on her!) The store was swarming with little rude kids pushing and knocking clothes on the floor. Mother's not paying attention or not caring. Kids trying to peek into the dressing room while others tried on clothes. What's with that?!?!?!?!

As we were leaving the store and a little kid - couldn't have been more than 7 years old, began to push NED as we were going down the steps. I lost it! I did something that my daughter didn't realize I did. And I won't admit to her. I only feel a little bad about doing it. Remember - I'm having a grumpy day!

I said to the kid, "Ma ze?" (what's this/ what are you doing?) "Ayze chutzpa" (what a chutzpa.) And when we got to the bottom of the steps and he cut right in front of us, I stuck out my foot.... and tripped the kid! He went flying and I didn't care! I just walked away without another word. NED thought the kid tripped himself and I felt justified!

Hummpfff! I'd had enough!

Came home, made pancakes for dinner (forget about thinking healthy!) and tried to feel productive by cleaning the clutter off a book shelf and reorganizing the books.

And now here I am. It's almost midnight. Ari just got home. And I just want today to go away by going to sleep.

Tomorrow is another day.

OK OK, I know I sound like a kvetch. I'm entitled.

Here's a happy thought: It just started raining!! Thank you Hashem!

Good night :)