Here’s a good one…

This one is a milestone in the raising of my children - A circumstance that was bound to happen – sooner or later.

So DB called me last Wednesday and said that a group of boys were going to one of his classmate’s house for Shabbat. He was invited and wanted to go.

We were encouraged by DB’s desire to spend the weekend with boys from school. My cousins were coming for Shabbat, and I wanted him to be here, but he really seemed to want to do this.

Then he tells me that there will be about 25 boys, but no parents! That’s right. The parents were going away for Shabbat and leaving the boys to spend their time alone in their home.

No – DB was not going!!

I called my wonderful neighbor who has raised teenagers in Israel to ask her advice. She suggested I get the number of the mother to speak to, as if to introduce myself, thank her for having the boys and offer to send any food along. (And maybe get the guts to ask her what the hell she was thinking!!)

At first the boy was reluctant to give out his number. That made me very suspicious and I began having thoughts of “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”. But after much prodding, the innocent young man gave over his number and told DB he didn’t want his mom to be bothered by too many parents calling.

I very kindly called the mother who assured me that these boys were a ‘good and responsible’ group; that she had had them over before; that they knew they would have to clean up really well; and that she and another mother would be doing the cooking. I offered to send challot (bread) and she accepted.

So Friday afternoon, close to Shabbat, I packed a bag of 8 challot (3 baked by me and the others from the bakery), a chocolate frosted chocolate cake, and some chocolate chip cookies, and sent my 15-year-old son on a bus to Jerusalem to spend Shabbat with 25 + boys from his class. Without adult supervision.

Against my better and suspicious judgment –

Fast forward:

After Shabbat, DB came home with an empty bag of food. And the word “nice” to describe the Shabbat. That’s it. No other details.

When my girls come home they give us every detail of the event. But with DB, we’re lucky to get, “nice.” My mom says, “Thank goodness you only have one boy.”

I don’t know if I totally agree, because sometimes his undramatic way is very calming. Maybe I need to work on his descriptions of things a little bit. And I guess I should help him to express a little bit more to give us information.

In the end, he’s glad he went. I missed him over Shabbat, but am very glad he went, too.

We hope that this apparent attempt to try to integrate himself more socially will pay off…

P.S. Any ideas from you guys out there of how to get more details from my son without nagging?!