Follow up on Pain

So this morning, as I was walking the aisles of the grocery store, adding way more items to my cart than I had on my list (why does that always happen?!) I bumped into my neighbor and friend who's son will soon be entering the army in the same unit as DB. Another two weeks, to be exact.

I said to her with heartfelt empathy and comapssion, "I've been thinking so much about you. I remember this time, before my son went in." Knowing this was not her first son to enter the army, but it is her first son to enter an elite unit.

She answered me, not really looking at me, distracted by which bread to choose, "Oh thank you. I'm just not thinking about it. I can't." And walked away.

To which I called after her, "Well, I'm feeling it for you then."

She looked at me. Said thank you with a quizzical look on her face, and moved on. This conversation was clearly not going to happen. Either because she was in a rush and needed to focus on her shopping, or she didn't want to think, feel, deal with what her sweet-natured, kind 19 year old son was about to do.

And so therein was my test. Could I feel her anxiety and fear of the unknown, and still move on with my day without eating 6 candy bars?

How I wished she could allow herself to feel and still cope with her day.