Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Living a recurring dream

I know what I'm about to write is very trivial and there are so many other important things I could write right now, like how wonderful it has been to see and visit with my family and friends, but I wanted to save that post for when I had the time and clear head to process my trip completely.

So to blog my recurring anxiety dream might help me to finish packing so I can enjoy the last couple of hours I have here in the US.

For years I have been having the same anxiety dream whenever I have felt any stress or anxiety in my life. The dream goes something like this: I am packing to go somewhere or leave from somewhere, and I can't get everything in the suitcase, or I'm afraid I'm going to forget something or I can't find something I wanted to pack, or after I have left, I realized I have forgotten something. Same dream everytime, just different forms. I usually wake up panting, and unless there really is something going on to cause the anxiety, I am left trying to figure out what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

So here I am trying to pack after having gone shopping in America for mostly insignificant items, and I have terrible anxiety that I will not be able to fit everything I have bought into my luggage.

Trivial - I know, I know!

People are dying of real diseases, tsunamis took away peoples homes and ALL their luggage, families can't even afford food on their tables and I'm having anxiety over packing for my trip home!

I should have perspective - I know!

But this is my blog and I'm feeling anxious. So I get to write about it. Then have perspective!

My kids might have to wait until their father comes to Maryland next time to get the stuff I left, unless some kind soul who lives in Maryland and is coming to visit Israel wants to bring my saltine crackers and Duncan Hines brownie mix and BJs size seasoned salt and Life cereal and microwave popcorn and whatever else I can't fit in the duffle bag!

We will survive.

So that's my check-in for today.

I leave Wednesday in the morning. My wonderful Mom is driving me to Newark International airport and I -please G-d - land Thursday morning in Israel.

I'll be back in touch then.

Wish me luck...

smile:)

7 Comments:

At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The thing is, you really can't compare things like that. Yes, tsunami victims have a lot of troubles, but that doesn't make your troubles less real. Everyone's problems are their own, and they have their own weight. So, yes, perspective is good, but let yourself be anxious sometimes - more things than space is a frustrating experience!

I've been filling out my nefesh b'nefesh application and they asked - "Please list any stressful events in the last two years." I just started laughing.

Give my love to the family!

 
At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had to laugh at your post because when we first made aliya, I was just like you- every trip to the US included shopping for all of those food items I just HAD to have.

Believe me, after a few years of that crazy shopping, you won't want to do it anymore. It's just silly to bring back all those food items that last all of a few days when you get back to Israel (OK, maybe not the BJs sized salt :-) I don't bring back such "disposable" items anymore. Start eating the crackers sold here instead of saltines. They have Duncan Hines brownies here. Cereal? You couldn't pay me enough to shlep a box of something that my kids will go through in a week.

What I'm trying to say is that it's just silly to live your life in Israel depending on food brought from America to get you through the day. Start eating locally-bought cereal and other foods. Pretty soon you won't believe you ever brought back food in your suitcase. It's so much less stress also, when you're in the US, not to have to worry about buying it and packing it. Who needs that hassle?

You won't believe the incredible freedom you feel when you break that chain and start really living here.

 
At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah Smile love your blog. I came across it while looking for dreams. I know Living a recurring dream is not an exact match but thanks for the read. I'll get on with my search for dreams stuff and will visit again sometime. Take Care

 
At 3:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi There Sarah Smile how you going? I was sufing blogs for information on dream interpretation and I came across yours. while Living a recurring dream wasn't exactly what I was looking for, It was most interesting. I can see why I found your page when I was looking for dream interpretation stuff. Thanks for the read!

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greetings Sarah Smile I was looking for dream information and I landed on your pages. While Living a recurring dream was not excatly what I was looking for , I like your blog Great Stuff. I'll bookmark it for future visits. If you have time check out dream , Ok thanks for the read , take care.

 
At 4:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah Smile love your blog. I came across it while looking for dream dictionary. I know Living a recurring dream is not an exact match but thanks for the read. I'll get on with my search for dream dictionary stuff and will visit again sometime. Take Care

 
At 1:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am having the same dream. I can find definitions about what it's like to pack, to pack quickly, to pack old broken things, to pack and unpack, but not what it means when can't fit everything in there! I have the same (or, very similar) recurring dream. In mine, I was leaving school, and needed to pack everything but the baggage wouldn't contain it, and I tried placing it differently in different cargo, and it wouldn't work, and I went someplace with some of my baggage and tried again.. It kinda feels like one of the worst dreams I have, and trust me, I have a lot of vivid nightmares (this one doesnt count as a nightmare) but this one dream is just so stressful! I've had it reoccur in different places in different situations over the years..

I can't seem to find a good definition either. I can find analysis for the packing, but not for being unable to fit everything inside.

I think it is appropriate to compare it to a tsunami. And it's good writing.

 

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