Update and response…

So the update on MB’s little “party” is this:

I asked MB on Sunday: You want to tell me what happened last night?

MB: Yeah, I invited a couple of my (girl) friends over to watch a movie and since everyone talks to each other, I guess the boys thought they could come too. You know how I am, I can’t say no.

Me: Uh, MB, you need to be able to say no, especially to guys when they are doing something you know is wrong.

MB: I know, but I can’t.

I offered to do a role play with her, she declined. I impressed upon her VERY STRONGLY how important it was for her to be able to say no. She should have just told the boys she wasn’t allowed to have boys in the house when her parents weren’t home. Finished.

And as for the 10 o’clock curfew, she “thought” it was only for her to be home at 10. Not that everyone had to be out of the house.

Rules are now crystal clear. And she made her own consequence: No talking to friends on IM for the week. Seemed fair enough for me.

Thankfully she’s a reasonable and honest kid. She wants to do the right thing…


Now for my response or P.S. to the post about brother Matt.

As I anticipated, I received several comments, although only one posted. I appreciate the phone calls and personal emails. Most especially I am thankful for furthering my thought process on this matter.

In short, I am in conflict. Not so much against my brother, but more within myself. I am still on the spiritual and religious search I began 25 years ago. Brother Matt just seems to be the catalyst for this search. Whether or not he accepts me unconditionally is not as hard for me to accept as is the acceptance of myself and where I am in my journey.

When I was becoming religious 25 years ago, I began learning how to balance everything in my life until then – my connection to G-d and acceptance of Torah and mitzvot, my love and connection to my extended family, my distancing myself from my secular life and friends, and my understanding and acceptance of who I wanted to be.

This last piece seems to be still happening-

Making, or being at peace with where I am spiritually and religiously today.


I continue to find clarity for myself.

Idealistically, I thought moving to Israel would be the answer.

Realistically, it is not!


I have been and will always be a searcher for truth...


Onward.