Story after story

Just need to vent a little about all the unbearable pain there is in this world.

I listen to story after story of people being abused or neglected or hurt or pushed around or pained.

I got into this field (the therapist one) because I wanted to help people. But I guess I was in denial – and continue to be so – about the absolute horrible pain people are suffering with. It’s as if I hear it, but try not to internalize it; probably because I can’t take the thought of it. Can’t take the pain. I feel it too deeply. So I minimize it in order to cope. I see client after client and listen to their pain, and try, as I was trained, to keep it outside of myself, but I can’t help but let it affect me. I guess I do internalize it. That is what I do.

What parents do to their children – what strangers selfishly do to their neighbors – what horribly sick people there are in the world. Some of them continue without recourse day after day. The system doesn’t know how or what. There are so many deep, deep ramifications.

Yes, I want there to be a perfect world where no one suffers and everyone is happy and content all the time. And yeah, I know, I would be out of a job, but I’d find another one.
And yeah, I know, we need the suffering. But I just wish…

I’ve been thinking about becoming a birthing coach or a baby nursery volunteer.
Just to be around babies and give them the love and nurturing they deserve.

There is just too much crap out there in the world…

Okay – I vented, back to work. I’m good at what I do, so I will keep doing it for now.

Thanks for listening.

P.S. Please no lectures on how I need to take care of myself and learn better how to separate myself – I know all that. This is part of my taking care of self: venting.