I wanna write....
I wanna write about my cousin Philip dying.
I wanna write about my daughter getting married.
I wanna write about my finishing teaching my classes.
I wanna write about my Rebbetzin passing away without warning. And,how lost and scared I feel.
I wanna write about my new relationships with my new sons (in law).
I wanna write about my other daughter getting married.
I wanna write about how different my kids are. And how after 25 years of parenting, I still struggle with parenting each child differently.
I wanna write about my frustrations and disappointments.
But right now all I can really write about is how, if I was to die tomorrow, my family and this house would fall apart. I seem to be the only one who knows where anything goes.
No one pays attention to the details. No one notices what's out of place.
No one sees the pile of dishes or laundry. Or things to put away.
No one seems to care
So it all becomes my responsibility. And it pisses me off. I don't want it.
Maybe I've been a bad parent and enabled my family not to take responsibility.
Whatever it is, I'm thankful to have healthy children and friends.
The rest is just stuff to complain about.
posted by Sarah Smile @ 12:52 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
We don't enable them from responsability, they watch and learn, its there. We treat them like they are golden because they are to us. I often think to myself the same things you wrote, they will be screwed when I'm gone, but....true story: Daniel moved out, into his new home after the split/divorce to save money and to buy a new home. Things changed so much, Daniel did 9 years in the Navy away in far places, I'd visit, the house was always picked up, not like I do it, but picked up. My home, normal dusting, regular cleaning. He moved back in socks in every corner, whiskers in the bathroom sink, multiple dish duty all day long. Now he's in his new home, I come home from work, don't have to do anything, yup I miss it, then I got over it, lol. Daniel's ex told me I did too much, that he can't figure things out on his own, not true, at all, I'd go into it but, just not true. He owns two homes, and guess what, he does it all on his own. He was raised the way I feel he deserves to be treated, golden. And when I bitch, and let him and everyone else know they pissed me off, their response....that's my job, to piss you off, it also comes with a big bear hug, kisses and I love you. We have been going through some personal and emotional struggles here, stuff I'm not used to and never expected to be dealing with, Daniel included, he sent me a personal post "Hi Mom, I love you, your my Hero" They are golden Sarah and there it is, we don't enable, we show them how its done. Another thing I've learned the hard way, with the military, my job was to always fix it, no matter what it was, then one day Daniel called from boot camp, crying so upset, said he never realized how good he had it at home, he was home sick, and I couldn't fix his upset, couldn't hug him and make it better, got a few grey hairs on that call. Although your feeling unappreciated, you really are not, your showing them how its done, its our job as super mom's (and I only have one, tee hee)Wish I could come over there and provide some comfort, you for sure have so much going on, I think about you all the time, and hope and pray for the best. And on a final note, from all my rambling and sharing, in this house Daniel isn't the one who won't be able to figure it out, it's my husband, LOL he will be screwed, I'll need to leave enough for him when I'm gone to get a maid. Much love to you and your family!!!
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