Anonymous makes a point
I have been thinking a lot about the issue of shopping in America and bringing suitcases full of seemingly “needed” items back to Israel.
Then I received a comment from someone named “Anonymous” on my post about packing anxiety. My first reaction was to get offended by this stranger suggesting how I should change. But then I realized that he or she has really just validated what has been going through my head the last few days.
In fact, I shared these thoughts with a fellow olah (immigrant) today when she called and first apologized for asking if she could ship a pair of sneakers to wherever Ari will be so he can bring them back to Israel for her son.
This is what I shared with her:
First, I have to admit part of this comes from a simple and innocent comment my brother made while we were in the states together. Brother Matt, who also lives here in Israel with his wife and 6 kids, made a comment about whether bringing presents back to Israel for his kids was good chinnuch (education). I told him that of course he should bring things back- as souvenirs from his visit and to show his kids that he thought about them while he was away. His simple comment was, “Do I want them to think, ‘Everything is better in America?’”
That comment got me thinking. And as I continued to unpack today, all the stuff I brought back for my kids, I suddenly realized that maybe he was right. What lesson was I teaching my children?
Until now I have said that even though I can buy Hellmann’s mayonnaise in Israel, it costs three times the price, and if Ari is going back to the states for work once a month, why not have him bring me back some? The same goes for rice vinegar, corn syrup, and Duncan Hines cake mixes. He’s going anyhow; why not bring me back rice and barley that I don’t have to check for bugs? These are conveniences that make life here a little easier.
On the other hand, Anonymous is right. I don’t have to bring back cereals that my kids can do without. They can get used to eating what is here. And I don’t have to get stressed out when I’m there! (Not that I’m planning on going back anytime too soon.) Why do I have to bring back American products that they can really live without?!
I admit that it is a little harder when their father is traveling back and forth every month. It’s a challenge not to make them feel like they are missing out on something there. By making HERE more exciting, they will begin to forget about what was there.
As olim (immigrants) we have to be very careful about the messages we give our children. This issue is so subtle, yet so important if we want our aliyah to be successful. We cannot continue to make the children feel that things are better in America.
Thank you, Anonymous, for helping me get this out of my stuck place. It’s one of the things that has been bothering me since I got back…
By the way,
I wouldn’t have even seen this comment if I hadn’t been procrastinating what I needed to be doing today. I just happened to notice that I had an additional comment on a post I wrote a couple of days ago. So I have a request for all you expert bloggers out there. Is there a way for me to know if I have received a comment without having to go through each post and remember how many comments I had the last time I looked at them? I love blogging for the writing, but I am otherwise computer illiterate! Any help would be appreciated!
posted by Sarah Smile @ 9:50 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
when you log into your blogger dashboard go to setting under the comments tab is something about e-mail me when a comment comes in I did it's much easier.
Did you hear the good news I got into OD. As I told Ari who supposedly had the message forwarded to you "Stock your fridge cause Ed is coming over!"
Hi, sorry I can't figure out how to log in under my username. I was going to tell you how to get e-mails when someone comments on your blog. But Ed got there before me.
VERY interesting blog entry. When you first wrote about all your packing, I was going to comment and say "Thanks for the list of all the things I'll bring with me when I make aliyah." (I didn't comment because I couldn't figure out how to log in!)
But now I'm really thinking about what you said. I really DON'T want my kids to think America is better and I want them to get used to everything there. BUT there are going to be SO MANY OTHER things to get used to, won't it be easier if they have their cereal, peanut butter, and tuna to make them feel more "at home" first? Like I said, something to think about. Thanks.
*** Einsof ***
I'm "Anonymous" who wrote the comment about not bringing back food from the US (I don't mean to be mysterious, I just don't feel like signing up and getting a username when I'm really not a frequent poster)
When I read that at first you were offended by what I said I felt so bad! That was the last thing I wanted to do, please believe me! I was just trying to give you the benefit of my experience of living in Israel for many years. When we first moved here, like I said in my original post, I was just like you- every trip included bringing back all that stuff. I was on a listserv at the time for new olim and one woman wrote that it's silly to bring back food every time, and my feeling was "Hey, butt out! Who are YOU to tell me what to do!"
But now, I am so happy that I decided years ago to end that craziness. Sure, I still bring back certain cosmetics, clothing- things that last a long time. But food....I know, it's tempting to bring back mayo that's 1/3 the price. But for me personally, the savings is outweighed by the "cost" of all that's involved with shlepping it back- the shopping, the packing, the worrying that it will break- and the most important cost: the "pressure" every trip that I MUST buy this. That one's hard to explain, but it takes some of the enjoyment out of my trip when I know I MUST buy that mayo. Clothes, cosmetics, etc. don't really do that to me, but knowing that I MUST buy all that food every time would drive me crazy. I'm not putting this well, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I just feel such freedom knowing that I don't HAVE to buy that food (even though it's cheaper!), that I don't have to "partially live" in the US- it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Maybe your situation is a little different because your husband goes back and forth a lot so it's easy to have all those foods brought to you. On the other hand, maybe it's making you even more dependent on these things, which will make it harder for you to really start living here and start shopping for food like an Israeli. Please don't be offended by that last sentence- that one just popped into my head and I thought it was something to think about.
You made a good point that I never even considered before- the effect on the kids. Maybe it makes it harder for them to really feel at home here when the pantry depends on regular shipments from the US- that the US stuff is better than the Israeli stuff. Interesting point!
I didn't mean to go on that long, forgive me. And please forgive me for any offense caused by my comments- I truly did not intend any. I like your blog and you sound like a nice person and Eema so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Have a good day!
yeah Sarah B, like ed said, you can have them email comments to you. i love it.if not for it, i wouldnt know of a lot of comments i get.
and we all know, Eretz Yisrael is soooo much better than america!!
Tonny
Einsof-
Fellow olah here. I don't think there's anything wrong with bringing enough of your favorite items to last you through the adjustment period while you figure out which available-in-Israel brands you like the best.
I agree with Anonymous that the goal should be to try and acclimate to products available in Israel -- if only because why should you worry for the rest of your life about who can bring you that mayo or cake mix?
But if it turns out that there are one or two things you really miss, then don't worry about having people "import" them for you.
My mother is Viennese and used to order our clothes and school supplies from Germany, believe it or not. There were constantly German-language magazines around, and my mother would talk about foods she missed, badly. And I never walked around thinking that Austria is better than America.
It's something to THINK about, but don't WORRY about it. If your kids are making friends and are happy in school, they won't go through life wanting to move back to America for their ketchup or whatever.
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