Tisha B'av tears
I cried today.
Mostly because I couldn't cry. I haven't cried.
I cried today.
Because I should cry. And I don't.
I feel sad.
Sad for the Jewish people. Sad for all those who are lost. Sad for all those who don't even know it.
I feel sad for the country. A country at war. In fear. Unsafe. Scared.
I feel sad because I am not a good enough mother. I cannot teach my children to have the passion I wish them to have. I want them to know and feel the passion that I feel.
I want to be able to love them unconditionally. And I do. I just know their potential. I see their spark. I see their fear.
I want my children to live the truth I see and understand.
I want to be the kind of mother who can teach by example. With love. And acceptance. All the time. I want my children to be good people. G-d fearing. G-d loving. G-d living.
Why can't I seem to figure it out?
Tisha B'av is a sad day for the Jewish people.
It's a good thing we aren't supposed to be this sad ever day!
On to another beautiful Shabbat...
posted by Sarah Smile @ 12:00 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I want my children to be good people. G-d fearing. G-d loving. G-d living.
But . . . THEY ARE!
They are good people. GREAT people.
And they are the most G-d fearing, loving, and living teenagers I've ever met.
Maybe they don't feel as much passion as you do, because you are a super-duper-passionate person in general. A person whose emotions don't run as incredibly deep as yours do won't feel as passionate as you do about ANYTHING.
Seems to me that your kids are as passionate about G-d as any healthy teenagers can be.
Relax!
"I feel sad because I am not a good enough mother. I cannot teach my children to have the passion I wish them to have. I want them to know and feel the passion that I feel."
ok SarahB, surriously, do you really think you're not a good mother? PUHLEEZ! you're a great mother. maybe sometimes its hard to see for yourself, but i see it -- and im hardly ever there!
and yeah, what sarah said.
have a great shabbos.
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you all in Israel and there are so many of us who do support you all.
Hello Sarah,
You won't remember/know me but I was in your class at TJ High School my name then was Tobi Unglebower. I started reading your blog after the emails came to me from the Class webpage, to see what someone who was there had to say about the war. I didn't intend to keep reading your blog or to ever post a comment but this post of yours echoed so much the way I feel too. I'm not Jewish so I can't relate to your posts about some things but all the stuff about your children and how you feel as a mother. I have four children -ages 14, 12, almost 3 and just turned 1. My 12 yr. old son is over weight and I have trouble with that also. Anyway, we were never friends in high school but I just had to comment on this post and I like reading your blog-it gives me a different perspective. This is long and I'm sorry for that. I will end with saying that I'm sure we are both great mothers because we wouldn't be asking these questions and having these doubts if we weren't.
Stay Safe
Post a Comment
<< Home