A Sweet Ely Moment

I was driving Ely to gan this morning and thinking/worrying, as I do every morning (noon and night), about where we are going to be living in 4 months. I passed two new olim out for their morning exercise walk (which I should be doing), saw the way they were dressed, thought about what very wonderful people I have found them to be, then thought even more about where we fit in as a family here.

I passed the lot of land that is for sale and thought, ”Should we just do it? Maybe I could sell some of the expensive jewelry Ari has bought me over the years that I don’t wear anymore. Maybe there just isn’t that “perfect” place and our kids are so happy. Why mess with a good thing? I’ll just have to readjust my thinking and expectations?”

I think and I think. I get upset. I think about eating chocolate. And I think some more. My body aches all the time now and every time I turn my head it sounds like there are rocks in the back of my neck. Don’t know how much longer I can take this unknowing…

This all happens, you should know, in a period of about 3 minutes! As I pull into the parking lot of Ely’s gan, I snap out of my thoughts and wish her a fun day. She unstraps herself from her seatbelt, opens the door herself, and climbs out of the car. I open my door so she can give me a kiss and she runs through the gate of the gan. She is so cute today. She looks like a little girl today – no more baby. “I look pretty today, don’t I Imma?” “You look pretty everyday, Ely” I reassure her.

As Ely runs in, she turns and waves and yells out, “Bye Imma” with the biggest sweetest smile a mother who is trying to hold it together can bear! I smile and am thankful for my little girl! Such sweet innocence in a world of doubts and unknowns.

I am thankful!

Now, to get on with my day….

Hopefully without any chocolate