I lost it!

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache – bad start!

The headache got progressively worse throughout the day. I couldn’t lie down because it hurt too much, but sitting up didn’t allow me to sleep.

So my Shabbat nap was compromised.

By the time Shabbat was over, it had grown into a very near migraine. Loud noises, light and the heat aggravated it even more.

At clean-up time, I got my crew to work, but felt guilty going to lie down.

I should have!

MB was washing dishes in one sink, NED was at the other. They were discussing MB’s taking the week off to go to Bnei Akiva camp and NED taking over for her at the backyard camp where she had been working. NED was arguing that she had made plans for the day and couldn’t do it. That’s when I chimed in.

I should have just gone to sleep!

In front of her friends and the rest of our guests, I lost my patience. I began with a raised voice and ended with yelling and a threat.

I am not proud of myself.

It’s one of those things that happens so fast, you can’t stop it. But when it’s over, you know you shouldn’t have said it!

True, she might have spoken a little disrespectfully, but I lost control and I never should have embarrassed her in front of her friends!

Too late, I retreated to my bedroom, rubbed some peppermint oil on my forehead and went to sleep.

I apologized this morning to NED. I explained that I should not have taken it out on her, but she also cannot speak to me the way she did.

We’re friends again, but I’m still embarrassed of my behavior.

I lost it…

And I am not perfect!!