Another thought to share
Remember my new favorite book, FEELING GOOD, by David Burns, M.D.?
Yeah, well, I’m still reading it … at a snails pace.
I skip around sometimes.
Here’s a paragraph I opened up to today. It’s really got me going. I believe his premise is that “Just as love, companionship, and marriage are not necessary for happiness and self-esteem, they are not sufficient either.”
Parts of it are hard for me to take. I’m still thinking about it:
“There is a difference between wanting and needing something. Oxygen is a need, but love is a want. I repeat: LOVE IS NOT AN ADULT HUMAN NEED! It’s okay to want a loving relationship with another human being. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a delicious pleasure to be involved in a good relationship with someone you love. But you do not need that external approval, love, or attention in order to survive or to experience maximal levels of happiness.” (p. 322)
What do you think?
By the way, UYO happens again in February. I get to go as an angel this time. Wanna come?!
posted by Sarah Smile @ 9:29 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I don't know if I agree. I think romantic love is not necessary, but some human love... I think that's pretty important.
I too dissagree. I think love is necessary. Although it didn't start this way, G-d wants to marry and have children. What would a marriage be without love. Luckily I don't know. On another note, I think some would spiral into depression without love; not that you need hate to balance you out.
It depends on what you mean by "need."
A life without anyone loving you in any way - no friends, no family -- or without anyone you love, can only be happy for maybe a handful of people. You can eat, sleep, work, and live to 120, but if you've never connected deeply with another person, what is the point?
A life without romantic love . . . well, it's easier to find other things to fill up one's life, but it's still sad, for most people.
And then there are the physical needs. A person can survive without sex, but if you ask any of the people in our community in their 30's and 40's and 50's who have never had it, the lack of it can cause all sorts of psychological problems. It's like telling someone to live on 800 calories a day. They won't die, but they'll be malnourished if they keep it up for years.
So what does it mean to "need"?
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