Being a faker

How many of you fake how you are feeling?

Pretend everything is great - put up that wall?

I'm so bad at it.

"No one wants to be around a bitch," Grandma Rose would say to me. I would argue with her.

Still would.

Doing what I want, instead of what I should

Should have:
- cleaned off my desk
- worked in Ely's room to get her organized before her trip
- written an article for any English speaking magazine in the area
- made a card or bought flowers to take to the show tonight
- baked for Shabbat

Instead:
- I washed all the dishes in the kitchen (OK, not really what I wanted, but it felt so good!)
- cut out cartoons that I wanted to keep and made a couple laminated pages of my favorites
- decorated some more plastic cups
- took a nap
- took a shower
- took ELy to see a great show in JM

Not a bad day

We graduated

We did it.
12 years of meeting every year, about 4 months into the school year, to tell the teachers, this is normal.
We just have to get her over this hump.

12 years later, we are done. No more. For now, at least.

There will still be humps, I am sure. And we will remind her that the humps need patience and perseverance.

But she has surpassed our expectations.

Another child - another hero!

NED - YOU did it!!

Judgments

Why are we so judgmental?

Why can't we/I just accept. Why must we have opinions? And not just be accepting?

Call them observations?

They are judgments.

Judgments are so hurtful.

Acceptance.

Just write

I've started about three blog posts over the last month. One about this and another about that. Finished them, didn't finish them.

Like the perfect journal, it has to be the right place and time.

Excuses excuses...
Just write.
Write about my thoughts of right and wrong - good and bad
Write about how hard it is to live in the gray
Write about my client that is really pushing my personal buttons.
Write about my new business cards and the new blog site
Write about NED graduating and MB turning 19.
Write about what I was doing when I turned 19 - or when I graduated high school
Write about how DB has been calling more during the week to say hello - because he can and wants to
Write about how Ely performed a hip hop dance on her own, is finishing fourth grade, and has been reading "the book" with me.
Write about all the ideas I have to celebrate my birthday
Write about my new rock and shoe garden
write about how cool it is that Mom knows how to work skype
Write about my anxiety and excitement to visit everyone in the U.S.
Write about how I feel about gaining weight or losing weight

Stop thinking about it
Just write about it