First things first:
I love Purim in Israel! And more than that, I LOVE having our Purim seudah in our own home in Israel!
5 families - 30 people total - great friends - beautiful singing - inspiring dvrei torah - yummy food - fun memories - time together - our family away from family. Everyone, and I mean everyone, leaves with the feeling of, "This was the best Purim seudah ever!" I love helping to make people feel that way! Thank you G-d for giving me the tools! They do not go unappreciated! This is what I do the best. I get better at it every time. I love hosting parties! I am Rosie's granddaughter, to be sure! She wouldn't use as much plastic as I do - but she would be very proud of me! Thanks Grandma!!
Only a couple side affects from the day:
1) There is so much junk food left in the house, and all I can think is, "Pesach is coming!"
2) I have a very dirty and sticky floor with no cleaning person to wash it. No energy tonight. Hopefully I, or one of the kids, will feel like doing it tomorrow.
3) I have a 17-year-old son who, after worshipping the porcelain god for an hour or so (if you know what THAT means!), has completely passed out on the guest room bed. I won't even try moving him. He seems to be resting more comfortably now. But boy did I have a flood of memories come pouring back to me tonight. Called my high school girlfriend, Teri, in Florida, to reminisce. Everyone keeps telling me how much better it was that he was in his parents house and not out at some party or bar. I just wish it didn’t have to happen at all!
Ever see the cartoon where a kid is going towards the basement door to go down to the basement. The parents can see that there are monsters in the basement, but the kid can’t. The parents are yelling to the kid, “No! Don’t go! There are monsters in the basement.” But the kid doesn’t listen. And although it is really hard, the parents realize that the kid has to face the monsters on his own. They can’t save him from everything?
This is one of those times. I did not want him to face this monster. I tried and would have done more to save him from this monster if I really could. But I guess deep down I had to face the fact that he was going down and I couldn’t stop him. I could only be waiting for him when he came back up and (hopefully) said (says) he’ll never go down to that basement again. Ari says, “If he goes down again, we’ll be waiting for him the next time too.”
It’s so hard to let your kids face their own monsters! Especially when it feels like yesterday when I faced them myself!!
4) On the bright side, my husband seems to have built up enough tolerance for scotch over the last year (I guess that’s a good thing? What am I saying?!?!) that he did not pass out on me right after the meal. He helped (without me even asking him to) break down the tables, fold and put away chairs, vacuumed the floor, and put the living room back together. I made him take care of his son, too. I felt it was more of a father’s duty – except that Ari doesn’t do vomit very well. So I lent my supportive, motherly touch.
5) I now have a refridgerator full of food. Which leads me to my next topic…
I’m leaving for the States tomorrow night. Flying to Bmore to visit the family. Will be back before the following Shabbat. Quick trip. Have plans to go to Cleveland for a night to visit more family.
Many mixed emotions.
I need a break, but going “home” is not easy for me. It’s difficult to articulate here. Suffice it to say that I will be very happy to be amongst my friends and family who have known me forever, which makes it difficult to be with them and then have to leave again.
And because I have gained weight again. Although I know my family loves me unconditionally, I know they worry about me when I gain weight. It happens. It’s embarrassing and I partly wish I could snap my fingers and make the weight go away. So they won’t spend so much time seeing my double chin and full face, but just seeing ME.
OK, that’s just getting too deep for this blog.
I’ll try to post from my parent’s house. It’s not always easy to fight my Dad for his computer…
If you read this blog, and you know my family, check in on my husband and kids for me, will ya? Make sure they’re okay.
Have a good week.