Friday, November 24, 2006

Ely's Second tooth and other thoughts

She pulled it out herself this time. Ely now has that adorable gap between her bottom teeth, with the lisp to go along with it.
Today she came home from school and went straight to her homework. Ari and I were blown away by how beautifully she was reading hebrew!

Busy weekend ahead - contrast to last weekend. 11 sleep over guests and a huge kiddush on Shabbat day to celebrate Ari's 41st birthday. The house is not really ready to show off, but most of me does not care! It's those one or two voices of judgement that keep me bugged, but otherwise I really just don't care.

I received a comment on my last post from an anonymous reader (which I did not allow to be posted) seemingly upset over something Ari and I did to them in the past. I think I know who it was, but can't be sure. UYO taught me to take responsiblity for my actions and I feel bad that there is someone out there that I hurt, but can't speak to me directly about it. I know I have said things to people in the past that may have hurt them, but I usually only say the truth, even when it hurts. I will continue to feel confident in knowing that I have brought more people closer to me than I have hurt in my life. I know I have made mistakes, but I also know that there are those who love me even with my imperfections.

Thinking about Thanksgiving and my very fond childhood memories!

Shabbat Shalom. Smile.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A week later and a lifetime of change

Firstly, I am happy to report that Ari is home safe and sound. He was gone for his longest trip to the States yet, and it was very hard for all of us. He got home, we went out for diner at Burger's Bar and he is asleep with Ely - the big kids are out doing their Bnei Akiva thing. I am here. Trying to collect my thoughts and write about the experience of UYO.

Have you ever had the experience that you thought you would never be able to do something and then when it was over, you didn’t want it to end?

To those of you who read this blog, who know me, and I know you, and you haven’t done the UYO course…then you should! There is absolutely no reason not to! No reason!

If you are feeling stuck
If you are feeling like nothing matters
If you are feeling like you don’t know if you or anyone cares
If you feel lost
Or if you DON’T feel…

Do it!

I’m a therapist. I feel. My training was all about feeling. So I’ve done this feeling stuff before. But it was a long time ago. A lot of years ago. A lot of moves and decisions ago.

I learned that I am loved. I love. And it’s my choice!

The entire four days seem like years ago, even though it was only 3 days ago. The entire experience feels like it never happend. I feel the shift within myself, but it's like, how it happened? Never happened.

And as I see that I am having difficulty expressing anything real here personally, allow me to share with you a poem given to us by the amazing UYO-Israel instructors, Beth and Eric. The poem is written by Marianne Williamson (I have no idea who she is!)

Our deepest fear
Is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of G-d, your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory of G-d that’s within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to so the same.
As we are liberated form our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I am so very deeply thankful to my dear friend Sarah B for organizing this program here in Israel and for Shimmy Trencher, for being the original UYO junkie.

It’s your choice! Story A or Story B! You have your own personal power!

Monday, November 13, 2006

What I need to do

In no particular order:

- unpack my mudroom, including organizing files and throwing away stuff I never use - which is not an easy job!

- unpack Ely's winter clothes, go through clothes that don't fit her anymore and decide what to do with them

- buy towel bars and toilet paper holders for every bathroom - which there are 7!

- Finish unpacking my bedroom and figure out where to put a full length mirror - then maybe I'll be able to see myself and realize what I look like :(

- laundry, as usual

- keep workers here to get stuff fixed

- learn to accept my imperfections

That's enough for today!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Serious Perspective

As I sit here crying over the fact that Ari has left again for another trip to the states; feeling sorry for myself for being all alone in this ridiculously huge house; and worrying how I'm going to get through the next week and get everything done, I click over to my blogging friend, Brainhell, and realize...I have NOTHING to complain about!

Brainhell is dying. He is so damn honest and open about it. He is so accepting of his sucky situation. He is so at peace with his reality.

I don't have that peace.
I can't accept sucky situations.

Why do amazing people have to suffer to their death in order to teach acceptance?

Please check his blog, send him a comment of faith and strength.

I need some serious help with this perspective stuff.

Blessings to you Brainhell!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

31,000 hit question

It's been awhile since I've asked a question.
See if you can answer this one:

How do you know if you are a good person or not?

Gotta think about this one a little. Send me a comment or email.


Ely's first lost tooth!

Ari and I were in Jerusalem until late today, so when we went to pick up Ely from her friend's house, her tooth was very ready to come out. She decided she wanted Dr. Teicher, our old next door neighbor - who is also a dentist, to pull it out. So on our way home, we stopped by his home office and in 2 seconds he flicked it out of her mouth! It bled for a minute and now, my baby is officially toothless.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Random thoughts when I should be asleep

Headaches everyday

Stress? ummmm, yeah!

Ari riding his bike across country. Proud but needy

Winter clothes a little tight. What have I done lately?

Crazy dysfunction in the world

Trying to do everything

Negative and Positive do not coexist in my world. It's one or the other.

UYO - am I crazy?

I miss the boys