Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Double digits

Happy Birthday Ely!

10 years ago - my life started all over again.

I am blessed...

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jack Daniels and Led Zeppelin

Double date
Kosher beer brewery and restaurant
Loud music
Good food
great friends
good fun

Great break!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

listening to christmas music

is that a bad thing?
So many childhood memories - just in music

concert choir songs

good innocent music

If I could order any dinner I wanted

it would be thai food.

coconut soup with lemon grass
Pad thai noodles with veggies
Sticky rice and mango
beef on a stick - what's that called again? - with peanut sauce
fresh thai rice


I want someone to make dinner for me!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Up and Down I go....

It's exhausting.

Feeling, not feeling.

Laughing, crying.

feeling loved, feeling neglected.

Overwhelmed, completely organized.

Put together, falling apart.

I'm tired....

Friday, December 18, 2009

It's 1:00 am

Why are there teenage boys still hanging out in my house?

I need to go to sleep.

I trust them with my daughters...right?!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

In a mood

Wish I could just curl up and be let be.

So many expectations of me.

What would happen if I didn't pack the food for our tiyul (hike/day trip/outing)?
Or wash the clothes?
Or make the menu, shopping list, do the shopping, prepare the food?

What would happen if I didn't pick up that piece of dust that has been sitting in the corner of the stairwell for the last week?

What would happen if I didn't get the prescriptions filled?

What would happen if I decided to go up to my bed and go to sleep without telling anyone, when we were expecting dinner guests? Who would prepare the food, clean the house? Set the table?

Who would get the mail from the mail box?

Who would know if we were in overdraft at the bank?

Who would know when Ely goes back to school? Or when there is a meeting at NED's school?

How the hell would ANYTHING happen around here?

What about me?!?!?!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I did it again...one week later

Not nice to promise to do something and then not come through.
Some days are just harder for me than others...

Today? Better.
Hanging out in Jerusalem with NED and ELY. Walked to the kotel (western wall) for candle lighting and then met friends for sushi dinner.

Heard Xmas music tonight for the first time.

Wish I could make money grow on trees.

Wish the pain in my foot and stomach would go away.

Appreciate that when I walk down the street, my 17 year old, still wants to hold my hand.

Do I really want a nose ring? I don't think so? But maybe.

Appreciate good friends who know what I need.

Appreciate my husband when he listens to my rambling.

Still HATE his treo!!

Am aware I am not communicating as much with my friends, as much as they are used to.

Would appreciate someone offering to clean my house for free!!

Could use a massage - deep tissue - full body - and a couple hours after wards to do NOTHING!!

When will I know that I have given too much?

Appreciate that my 20 year old son will still play hide-and-go-seek with his little sister in the mall.

MB was home with strep for two days, but wouldn't listen to me when i told her she couldn't go back to work. They don't listen like they used to...

Just another day.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

one week later

I'm slackin'


Back to not knowing what to write.

Think about it during the day - and then it's gone from my head by the time I get home.

Making lots of lists these days. Still not enough.
Moving right along.

Oh yeah, I think I wanted to write something about not feeling appreciated. Being taken for granted.

It was really a vent, I guess.

Need to go paint my nails another funky color. The hot pink with brown and blue polka dots is peeling off...

Will keep trying.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

My One-Year-Old IDF Soldier

Today, December 2, DB has been in the Israeli Army training in Shaldag (google it) for 1 year.

Hard to believe.

I can't imagine what more he needs to learn to do. Scary to think regular soldiers are out there fighting after 3 - 6 months! What more does he need to know?!?!

I have gotten used to not having him around - although I still don't like it.
Some things I am used to- others I could do without!

Needless to say, Ari and I are very proud of our boy!

10 more months of training and then 2 years of service - still a long way to go!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

NED in Eilat

NED wants to go to Eilat for a couple days over Chanukah vacation - with some friends.
Ari and I aren't so crazy about the idea.

I can't say much since I went to the Bahamas with Teri after graduation. Just the two of us.

Still negotiating.

ELy's almost audition

Ely saw an ad for an audition for a theater group putting on Annie.

She started singin all the songs she knew from Annie.

She said she really wanted me to take her.

When we described what an audition was, she changed her mind.

Better this way. i was dreading having to drive her back and forth to Jerusalem for rehearsals.

But it was fun to think of her on stage singing, "It's a hard knock life."
Even if only for a moment.

Pain in the world

I understand that depression exists because biological or chemical imbalances. We can't help that.

But why then do people have to go and abuse, torture, bully, and neglect? Then it gets confusing. Is it because of the biological make-up or because of something that happened?

Just doesn't seem fair.

Also, my doctor told me that medical trauma is not given enough focus or weight as a legitimate form of trauma. And understanding the affects on the brain and person.

Remind me to tell you about what happened to me when I was nine years old. Went blind, almost died. Mumps encephalitis.

Long time ago, but might explain a lot about me.