Normal stuff

Decided to make this a normal blog post - so if you are looking for drama, this one is not the post for you!! :)

We tend to do things in extremes here.
Either everyone is home, or the house is empty.
Either we stay up all night, or go to sleep early.
Either the sink is full of dishes, or everyone washes their own.
Just some silly examples.

DB called two nights ago to ask if he could bring his unit over for a BBQ. My first thought was, "Sure" and then, "You don't have anything else to do, like protect our country?!"
But alas, they are not coming. Not enough guys around - I guess the rest of them are off protecting the country?? "Maybe next week," he said.

So today I'm off to Jerusalem to see two clients, and then home again for two more.
I've been busy. About 12 clients now.
Would like to be busier.

Need to write an article for an English magazine here. Just not sure what to write about?

Ever feel like your days just blend one into the other? I think I need a change of scenery. It's been fun, at least, to be wearing winter clothes - to see the stuff I packed away for the summer. That's new - although old. Same clothes, just haven't seen 'em in a while.

I like dramatic postings better!

Speaking Hebrew

I do better than I think I can!

Today I conversed with:
the electrician
the water heater fixer guy
the gannenet (kindergarten teacher) of one of my clients
the charity guy who is paying for another one of my clients therapy
the distributor for frozen strawberries and blueberries
the cashier at the grocery
the shoe salesman at the NAOT shoe store
the telemarketer who I told I was not interested
the haircut guy and the hair washer guy
the shiatsu massage therapist
the contractor

all in mostly Hebrew, with a few English words tucked in where needed.

Not bad for one day!

My identity

Do I work because I am a therapist?

Or am I a therapist and therefore I work?

Am I a mother because I have children?

Or did/do I have children, so therefore I am a mother?

Am a wife because I am married?

Or am I married, therefore I have to be a wife?

Being responsible

I don't want to be.

Period.


How does one stop being responsible?
Just stop?
But I have a conscious. I can't just stop.
My guilt won't let me.
I have to be responsible all the time.
To be irresponsible is BAD.
Does it mean I'm bad?
Maybe.

If I wanted to try irresponsibility, where would I start?

Being responsible all the time is exhausting!
Doing the right thing all the time is exhausting!

Why can't I just be a bitch or do something wrong and have no body care?

Maybe it's so exhausting because really I am a bitch and a mean person and have to work so hard not to be?
Now there's a new thought...

Being responsible sucks!

I'm here

Just barely.
Hanging in

Not doing anything about it.
but who cares

I'm here.
Hanging in.
Doing what has to be done.
Day by day.

Just doing it.
Because I have to.
Sometimes I hate being so responsible!
I wonder what my life would look like if I wasn't so damn responsible all the time!!

Living. Breathing. Doing. Working. Being. Barely...

What else am I supposed to do?

I'm here. In case you were wondering